Wednesday, October 02, 2002
I went to the ortho today for my monthly dose of hell. My teeth are not cooperating with me. He keeps putting an e chain on my bottom teeth, the "nuclear chain" he calls it. Well the "nuclear chain" is usually totally destroyed and hanging off of my teeth tattered and torn a few days after he finally gets the thing on my teeth after breaking 6 to 9 of them in the first few rounds. By that time I'm in such excruciating pain that I have my eyes closed and I'm thinking of my happy place (somewhere between Brad Pitt and George Clooney). I imagine that putting that thing on is somewhat like trying to fit a sumo wrestler into a speedo. Nonetheless, when they finally get the job done, It's as if someone is tightening a vise grip in my head. my teeth no longer fit in the nice little nooks the did before, but instead are crammed into a false sense of reality. They are tricked into believing that this new position it their actual home. How are they tricked you ask? Because they are being chased from their origional positions with PAIN, chased away into a new secure nook, just a few fractions of a millimeter at a time. Just enough so that they are creeping along in this continuous pattern for month after month after month till the dull ache in your head becomes so commonplace you don't even notice it. Just enough so that when you go back to the ortho and he takes off you bands, your teeth actually hurt when they are given this new freedom, therefore enslaving them even further with a false sense of security. Today my teeth had their freedom ripped from them and are once again enslaved by an intact e chain. Maybe they sensed it last night, maybe that's why they hurt so bad this morning when I woke up. They knew. They knew that in a few short hours their freedom would be gone, so they were trying to get back to their positions before they were forced by the e chain, but... It was too late. So now between the pain of clenching through the night and the pain of my new e chain, I've resorted to orabase, the most god forsaken numbing ointment next to chloraseptic. After searching feverishly for it, I come upon it hiding in a bathroom drawer, sneaky little devil. In my frenzy for relief, I slather a massive blob onto my gums and rub it all around. I begin to notice a strange consistency. I've just recently learned in Nutrition one of the major factors in choosing the foods we like is texture, well I tell you what folks, I won't EVER be eating any orabase anytime soon. This nasty film begins to build up on my gums, about this time I happen to glance down at the directions...
dab, do not rub, thin film will form . Nice, absolute genius. But at this time I do not particularly care, I'm a little more worried about the drool running down my chin and dripping onto my keyboard, I just don't think it's good thing.
Feeling no Pain
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:27 PM
