Wednesday, October 30, 2002
WELL WELL WELL....
Since Court is on her soapbox, I'm sharing with her. Hell we shared about 2 square feet on top of a speaker at Gruene Hall for a few hours, 2 nights in a row. I sure as hell think I can share her soapbox.
So here goes...
#1. I'll use paragraphs for those of us who lose interest when things are not properly indented.
#2. I won't discuss vibrators out of concern for your fragile little ego
#3. I won't use big words out of consideration for those of us who are intimidated by them.
#4. I won't talk about "commitment" for those of us scared shitless of that concept.
#5. I won't talk about myself, but constantly about you.
#6. I won't be the least bit concerned when you forget my birthday (even though it's the same as half the people you know).
#7. I won't remind you that you were the one that blew me off.
#8. I won't remind you that you blew it with me a LONG time ago, I'll humor you and let you think you still have a chance.
#9. I won't bring up the fact that you are an inconsiderate asshole.
#10. I won't patronize you for still being hung up on your last girlfriend.
#11. I won't point out the fact that you still need your mother to wipe your ass for you.
#12. I won't ever tell anyone what a dork you are ( your secret is safe with me ).
#13. I'll never endlessly chatter about my disgusting excuse for a social life and expect you to care.
#14. I'll never be picky about my food.
#15. I'll never let you think I have the upper hand ( although I usually do ).
#16. I'll never change the subject even though I don't give a rat's ass about what you have to say.
#17. I'll never annoy you so much that you feel the immediate need to block me from your AIM.
#18. I'll never talk shit about you to a potential girlfriend, only tell her the truth from one girl to another.
#19. I'll always remember that you are the one who screwed it all up, not me.
#20. I'll probably always say "I told you so," its one of the few joys in my life.
You know the FUNNIEST thing about this is the fact that most of my male readers that I'm friends with will read this and think it's about them. They'll be all pissy with me and get offended that I would say such things about them. Well keep in mind that after 22 years of being forced to interact with 'males' that were almost certainly "raised by wolves" that I've made the above observations. In no way whatsoever is any of the above intentionally directed at you. It would greatly distress me to think that anyone reading this would get some sort of egotistical boost from me including them in my little rant. So chill out, have a beer, and go get laid. :) oh wait unless you can't get laid because your chick prefers geriatrics, LMAO!!! sorry that was a cheap shot, don't take it personal.
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:53 PM
