Wednesday, January 01, 2003
It's time to stop denying the inner bitch in ourselves. stop apologizing for her, set her free.
It is amazing the inspirational connection Courtney and I share...
LRC91080: you need to ask yourself "do I really deserve a guy who really doesn't know me, hasn't made too much of an effort to get to know me, and can't keep up with me?" -
Texascourt22: NO! Its not that I don't deserve him… he doesn't deserve me! You cant put 110% in and feel guilty bc youre getting 2% back. I like my aggies like my milk, not my men.
LRC91080: ok
LRC91080: so this is how it is...
LRC91080: I personally feel like I should shake their hands, thank them for the nice conversations, free concerts, fun nights, and for my newfound sexual liberation. Then take a step back, look at my life, look at all I can become and realize that that is what is most important. What all I am supposed to accomplish in my life, and KNOW that when I need someone, that God will put him in front of me. But not until he is ready too. I think that maybe for a long time I've been holding myself back. There is too much out there in this world for me to be hiding behind fear
TexasCourt22: youre so right
LRC91080: somtimes i just want to say to them...
LRC91080: you know what...I dont' care that it bugs you that I look to 'perfect.' If I want too powder my face, re-apply my lipgloss, or put on my perfume, it's my damn right. Because honey, trust me...the hour it takes me to get ready every morning, to look beautiful, perfect, like I walked off the runway, is in NO way done for your benefit. I do it all for me and don't you EVER forget it.
LRC91080: Don't you ever forget that I am stronger than you too. Maybe not physically, but most definately mentally. I don't "need" you either, if you walked out that door tomorrow, I might miss you, it might hurt, but I'd bet my life that I'll get right back up, spend another hour of my life "getting ready" and walk out into the world knowing it's all for me. It's my life and it is what I make of it
LRC91080: yeah sometimes i want to say these things.
LRC91080: why is it so hard just to realize that YOU are all that you need? why do we keep depending on men? we do it without even realizing it so often. At first, he's just an amusement for you ( and he should stay that way ) but then you go through the week, or the day and realize, you didn't talk to him, he didn't call you. Then no matter how much we try to ignore this nagging thought, it's there, eating away at us. Till we let the thought of him control our emotions. How very unfair we are to ourselves. The only emotions they should ever have any control over are amusement. when we are no longer amused we should allow ourselves to be just as free as they are to move on to the next unsuspecting victim.
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:25 PM
