Sunday, July 20, 2003
Darling, you were always my muse
from the first day to the last
I protected myself to the end
though it was all in vain
I suppose you still are in many ways
I know why the rain falls
and the sun shines
I know why the birds fly
and where the clouds go
I underestimated myself while
overestimating you my muse
from my pain and remorse
has grown a beautiful flower
a flower that is in constant bloom
through the storms
through the droughts
through the sunny days
A precious flower
that grew over the septic tank
My darling muse
you still inspire me
through music
through art
through introspection
you moved me in ways I never knew I could move
you took me to a place inside
that makes me smile everytime it crosses my mind
though there is an empty place without you
my soul is more enriched
by all that you did and
all that you didn't do
my muse you awakened things
that I didn't even know were sleeping
thoughts and dreams
your memory still inspires
still creates desires
always coincidence with you
or was it only games
hard to remember the truth
if there ever was a truth to be remembered
since you there has been no muse to replace
none to compare
none that I want to compare
there will be no more muses
I am my own muse now
finding and giving inspiration in all that occurs
shades of blue eyes but a true Indigo
"light dwells within light"
being the new truth I live by
the new truth that brings me life
life in constant evolution
never stopping to smell the roses
instead creating them
in the most unlikely places
my muse you are not gone
never will be
you're a part of the grand scheme
as we all are
making us all a part of each other
from the stem to the petals
to the water in the vase it ends up in
my muse if I made you cry
it was only to make you feel
if you don't feel
you never live
if I made you cry there was purpose in it
purpose unknown to you or me
you made me cry
"Why is it that for the past twenty-two years of my life
I've never ever once cried over something that someone has said to me?
How is it that before I even knew what was happening
you did something that brought me to tears?"
but only once
after that numbness took over
numbness of reality
which eventually led to growth
and opened an inner door to happiness
and self satisfaction
for these things I will always be full of
"suppose I said you were my saving grace"
and my greatest downfall
bittersweet till the end
"not a daisy, because that is sissy"
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:14 PM
