Oh, so vintage?

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

I want arms that know how to rock me safe in the arms of love
I wanna fall and know that love has caught me safe in the arms of love...
sometime yesterday between sweet phone calls and lengthy discussions I realized (after I thought otherwise) that I am extrememly happy to be back with Jason. I'm still absolutely crazy about him. Turns out one of the ladies I work with is good friends with his mom and she was asking me about it all yesterday at school. It didn't take long to remind me how quickly news travels in small towns. So I suppose I'll be watching my back even more than I originally thought.
but on a different note
I can't wait for this weekend! everyone is going to the lake. Tracy and Jeff and the boys are coming and we'll have Riley and Ms. Reagan. Loree and Sara are coming YAY! I just can't wait to see everyone.

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:18 AM

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Things with Jason are going well. It just might take me some time to fall for him again. Once you get over someone, it's sorta hard to just rush right in again. I'm having fun with him though and that's really all that matters at this point.
My main focus has been working on my classroom anyway. How on earth do you make Chemistry and Physics fun??? That's my job, I've got to figure it out. I like it, but how do you relate it to a classroom full of freshmen? Thus are the things that keep me awake at night.
p.s. if anybody knows where I can rent a house in the area PLEASE let me know.

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:05 PM

Friday, June 25, 2004

We're giving this another try. How convenient since I'm now back in town for good. Part of me is glad, and part of me is still so hurt. I wonder if things will ever be the same? How do you move past something like that? I know that I have to if I plan to make this work, but it's really hard to just forget what he said. Not hard for him of course since he didn't even remember what he said. Bottom line is that I am crazy about him. Now I need to come to terms with all that's happened and see if I can get that trust back. Trust is a hard thing to earn from me, especially if you've ever hurt me in any way. I just throw that guard up and it's terribly hard for me to let it down, even when I want to. I never had my guard up with him because things just flowed so perfectly from day one and now it's just different. Everything seems the same, we cook, watch tv together, talk about our day, but there is something different and I can't put my finger on what it is. I'm not even excited about it either, it's just like another day. I will say one thing though, I feel 100% better. I can eat without wanting to vomit now. I just needed peace of mind. Deep down I think this will work for awhile because part of me just never let go of him, like he was coming back or he hadn't ever left me. Oh well, we'll give it another try and see how things go. Maybe we just need the weekend together at Jocelyn's.
***Holy Sh!T*** this is my horoscope I just read...
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Gaze, don't stare, into the eyes of love. Dare to let the old cliche about love ring true: Let it go, and watch it come back to you, probably on your terms. Work gets tedious -- a sign that you need a treat to look forward to.

♥Oh, so vintage... 5:23 PM

Thursday, June 24, 2004

so dinner with the ex tonight...
I buy he cooks. I really don't know how I feel about this just yet. I'd have to say I've got the upper hand in this situation. I just don't know how I want to play the cards yet. Do I want to try to make this work and risk going through this bullshit again? Or do I just want to move on with the confidence that I will be just fine all alone?

♥Oh, so vintage... 3:42 PM

so dinner with the ex tonight...
I buy he cooks. I really don't know how I feel about this just yet. I'd have to say I've got the upper hand in this situation. I just don't know how I want to play the cards yet. Do I want to try to make this work and risk going through this bullshit again? Or do I just want to move on with the confidence that I will be just fine all alone?

♥Oh, so vintage... 3:42 PM

Monday, June 21, 2004

I got the teaching job in Tarkington!!!

♥Oh, so vintage... 2:47 PM

Tonight is pool tournament night at Triggers. Unfortunately Jason has joined the pool league since I've been out of the picture. Now, I've been in a pretty good state of mind about it the past few days. It's like something can bring you down so low and then one day you wake up and look at it from a different angle and you realize that it makes you feel like million bucks. Suddenly you understand that shortcomings abound on the other side of the table, not just yours. Well tonight I'll be facing him for the first time in about a month. I'm not sure how I feel about it. At first my stomach tightened and I wanted to run to the bathroom and throw up. But then I thought this is bullshit, this is my bar, my life and my precious time at home with friends. He will NOT ruin that for me just because I have more ballz than he'll ever have. At least I can look him in the face, I doubt he can do the same to me. I've got ten times the potential now than I had with him. So yeah maybe he didn't want me taking this job, and maybe this job isn't the answer to my life's questions. But, I had to do it, just to prove I could. It was the most unlikely suprising thing I could have done short of joining the military. So here I sit on the edge of my destiny counting out all the things that could have gone right for me. Then I know that they did go right for me and this is all about me being able to do it alone and it always has been. If you wanna come along for the ride you're more than welcome, but don't get in my way.

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:37 AM

I love this girl...

Hey girl. I saw a bumper sticker this morning and had to share it with you....

Please have your Democrat spayed or neutered

Ha! Have a good day.

Jenn

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:33 AM

Friday, June 18, 2004

Virgo
August 22 - September 21
It is certainly clear that you have faith in your actions, dear Virgo! You feel no fear or doubt as you progress toward your goals at a fast clip, cruising along on calm seas under clear skies. This new atmosphere is likely the product of your renewed commitment. Reward yourself for your accomplishments, by all means - but you should wait a few days before launching a full-fledged celebration.

♥Oh, so vintage... 6:39 AM

Thursday, June 17, 2004

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold are false.

01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love broccoli
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books 06. I once slept in a toilet
07. I love playing video games
08. I adore marijuana
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch "One Tree Hill"
11. I like sharks
12. I love spiders, they are adorable, especially the ones with bright colors on their backs
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair
14. I love George W. Bush
15. People are cool
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a Toyota and a pool
18. I have a lot to learn 19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. I'm really, really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret
23. I hate rain
24. I drink health juice
25. Rock music rules
26. I hate Bill Gates
27. I love Vietnamese food
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am not a morning person
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have short hair
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Afghan
34. My legs are two different sizes b/c I refuse to believe my legs are identical...
35. I have a twin
36. I wear those long ass socks
37. I can roll my tongue.
38. I like the way that I look 39. I'm obsessed with italian food
40. I know how to french braid
41. I can be pessimistic or optomistic whenever I want
42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I skateboard/snowboard
44. I think that skateboarders are HOT
45. I'm in a band
46. I have talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single
50. I can swim
51. My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
52. I practically live on the comp
53. I love to shop54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I shop at abercrombie/american eagle*, and ADMIT IT.
57. I'm obsessed with my blog.58. I don't hate anyone
59. I know how to square dance
60. I have a unibrow
61. I'm completely embarassed to be seen with my mom
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I know how to play the tuba
66. I need coffee to live.
67. I have had a boyfriend before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have kids when I get older
72. I have changed a diaper before73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I crack my knuckles.
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3
78. I have no idea who the 38th president was.
79. I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie
80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex81. I'm online 24/7
82. I have at least 25 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party
84. I loved Rush Hour85. I've read all of the Harry Potter trilogy
86. If I were a dwarf, I would be Dopey
87. When I was a kid I played with G.I. Joe
88. I dont mind country music
89. I would die for my friends - Well some of them... 90. I think that Juicy Fruit is the best type of gum
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm paranoid (sometimes)
93. I would love to be Demi Moore because Ashton Kutcher is a major hottie
94. I love the Beatles.. they're classic
95. I know all the words to 'I'm a barbie girl'
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I like watching movies
99. I want this damned thing to be over!
100. I'm happy...well sorta

♥Oh, so vintage... 2:13 PM

Virgo
August 22 - September 21
Try not to get too worked up over other people's actions that simply don't concern you, dear Virgo. It could be that recent events have triggered responses from other people that are now having a serious effect on you. Take some time to really think about what part you wish to play in this drama. Is it really in your best interest to get involved at all? It is undoubtedly time to distance yourself from the situation.

Thank god...maybe my job will call tomorrow

♥Oh, so vintage... 2:06 PM

Little did I know...
Thought I was coming to pensacola to save my children's lives. Turns out I was summoned to save a marriage. NICE.
Score:
Land-0
Ocean-1

♥Oh, so vintage... 2:04 PM

Monday, June 14, 2004

hell yeah
in about 12 hours I'll be P'Cola bound baby.

♥Oh, so vintage... 8:09 PM

Sunday, June 13, 2004

I made an interesting self discovery today. All this time away from everything that's supposed to help me...isn't. I'm finding that I have become more and more bitter about certain things to the point that I don't ever want to go home. Don't get me wrong I'm sure eventually I'll begin to miss certain things. But right now I never ever ever want to face some of that shit again. So this makes me wonder, has this time alone helped me to realize that I need to move on in a big way, or has it made me realize that things are never going to change so I may as well just accept them? I'm still not sure yet. I do know that in a couple of days I'm heading for Pensacola for some much needed R&R with Tracy and the boys. I'm sure we'll drink beer and lay in the sun till we're fried, but hell, I can't think of any better way to spend my free time. I think I might be depressed too, when I first got here I was sleeping a normal amount. Now I get off at 6am, go immediately to sleep and sleep till 5pm, wake up, eat and do it all again. I don't think it's good to sleep that much is it? I don't feel bad though, I really like it here. I just get hellaciously pissed off when I think about shit that happened before I left.

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:34 AM

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Figured You Out Lyrics

I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease
And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed
While you put me to the test
I like the white stains on your dress
I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self respect
While you're passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)
I like your pants around your feet
And I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease
And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
(Now I did, you wonder why)
(Why not before, you never tried)
(Gone for good, and this is it)

Kinda fucked up to have your guy play that song for you huh? FUKER...

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:19 AM

Thursday, June 10, 2004

FUNNY SHIT

Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been
diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort
Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville,
is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing
and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other
two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers,
one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville
for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with
his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute
who lives in Longview, She is a part time "working girl". All things
considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward
to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open
and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who
supports John Kerry for President?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

♥Oh, so vintage... 6:38 PM

update 3
damn is it really Thursday already?
It sure doesn't seem like it. I feel like I just got here. All I do is sleep and work. Which is nice, because there really isn't anything else to do. I talked to mom and dad tonight on the phone. I think they really miss me. I haven't missed anyone yet except Butterbean. Poor girl, they put the shock collar on her so she would stop barking. The Resale shop has it's ribbon cutting in the morning. I hope everything goes fantastically for them. I hate that I'm missing it.

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:53 AM

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Ok new update.
I love our cook. He's gotta be gay, seriously. A gay old man that wears a hair net and cooks 4 meals a day for sweaty buff young men. How great is that? Anyway, he's a really nice guy, great sense of humor. He told some guy in line today that if he didn't watch his language around me I was going to kick his ass. All in all the men aboard have been very nice, no lude comments, not adverse conditions. A group of them stopped me today and asked where I got my Mark Sanders t-shirt from because they knew a Mark Sanders, only he was from Okla-fukin-homa. I might die from second hand smoke, I know I spend alot of time in bars, but my lungs are shriveling as I type. All in all this has been pretty nice. I go to sleep and wake up and my laundry is all done and folded hanging on my door. All I have to do is get up, take a shower, catch dinner, watch mtv, then go to work and do it all over again. I will say one thing for this job though, Susan Somers can kiss my ass, thighmaster ain't got shit on all these stairs I climb.

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:34 AM

Sunday, June 06, 2004

WOOHOO!!!
I'm here in the middle of NOTHING! but I've got limited internet access. so far I love it, things are going well, but I hear things are about to get really hectic. We didn't leave the heliport 2pm because the first flight was overloaded. the flight was nice, about an hour. You can see all sorts of fish swimming around, and the water is the most brilliant blue. So far the people are great. All the guys I work with have been really cool. My room is nice, I've got a tv and I share the bathroom with another woman whose name I will never be able to pronounce. i opted to work the night shift
6pm-6am. cause you know i will be able to sleep all day! I'll try to update as often as possible CAUSE I know you guys are just sitting around waiting to hear from me ;)

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:36 AM

Friday, June 04, 2004

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
You're in a daring mood. Don't be surprised if you do something completely unlike yourself and the change sticks! Favored activities are reading body language, interpreting dreams and asking your intuition for an assessment.

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:11 AM

Make it 3 in a row!!!
My job called this morning!!! I ship out tomorrow morning at 10am from Port Fourchon. I'm leaving tonight since it's an 8 hour drive. There is a hotel across from the Heliport so I should be good to go! Big Adventures from Small Beginnings.

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:45 AM

Thursday, June 03, 2004

And life gets even funnier...
Keep throwing those curveballs God, I'm just starting to get the hang of this. So Josh came over last night. How's that for a suprise. He's doing great, almost too great. We all went to dinner and it was quite pleasant. I think he actually missed me.

♥Oh, so vintage... 2:22 PM

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

bECAUSE LIFE IS FUNNY LIKE THAT...
so Tarkington High School just called me and I've got an interview this afternoon.

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:38 PM

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