Friday, December 31, 2004
What's it take to get a little satisfaction?
What do I want? It's hard to be content when you don't even know where the problem is or where to start fixing it. I want the fairy tale. I have to get away from this place because he's everywhere with her and if I'm going to have an anxiety attack everytime I see them then I need help. When it takes me two days to recover from just the sight of him then it's definately emotionally unhealthy. Hell I even had Croker last night and I still freaked!AGH!!!!! Why can't I just wake up and not remember him? Just like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
"Shouldn't I have all of this and passionate kisses?"~LW
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:58 AM
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
Is it wrong to stand up two guys in one night? HA Ha ha...
Eh who cares if its wrong, I'm working on some bad Karma with the dating Gods right now anyway. Things are starting to get back into a routine I was getting fully used to about a year ago. Men were a dime a dozen and I could care less about any of them truthfully. I don't really want to care about any of them. They are just too much damn trouble. I think that Thursday night marked the beginning of my transformation back into who I used to be. You talk shit about my dog and I don't call you back, you wake me up during the middle of the night calling 15 times in a row because you want a piece, you can damn well bet I won't be impressed. However, if you play a few games of cut-throat with me and appeal to my intellect, things might be different. And...if you are just patient with me (we're talking like going on 3 years now), and wait for me to gradually become attached to you, you might be in serious business. John bought me chocolates for Christmas. I've never gotten chocolates from a guy, granted they weren't anything fancy, it was the thought that counts. We spent a great evening making the rounds on 321 last night. Apparently there's the sweetest little gay guy down there Mikey, that has a thing for my man JL. Ending up getting a ticket for an expired registration (thank GOD not a DWI) after leaving the Ponderosa. I'm sure in Jess's case it helps to 'know' people. God I love this life. New Years is going to be OFF tha Hook this year, minus the Jager :)
♥Oh, so vintage... 3:36 PM
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♥Oh, so vintage... 3:07 PM
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Friday, December 24, 2004
Got Game?
Just when I thought maybe I didn't have game anymore, maybe I forgot how to flirt, or just interact with the opposite sex period, last night happens. As always leave it to those crazy liberty county girls to pull em outta the woodwork and make a good time outta nothin. My first encounter was with another 'relative' of Ms. Croft's. I think he was quite taken with my
mathematical skills. Then an interesting man from the past walked in. One I completely blew off for that jackass Josh. What the FUK was I thinking??? I got pissed at him because he was talking shit about my dog, so I stood him up. Nice right? Well he was fully aware of why I got pissed at him so he spent most of the night apologizing profusely, then the rest of the night calling me. So maybe Ryan has a chance after all. I was really mean to him and he came back so we'll see.
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:21 AM
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Monday, December 20, 2004
I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Every time I quit
Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
It takes my pain away.
It's a lie.
A kiss with opened eyes.
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are horrid times.
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me.
~JEW-Pain
♥Oh, so vintage... 5:35 PM
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Monday, December 13, 2004
Wow...
What a weekend. All I could say at the end of saturday night, I mean sunday morning was "there are no words". But maybe today I've found a few. Lets start off with Friday night.
Josh came over even though I was suffering from an amazingly bad hangover from the night before. We went to the bar and played some pool, then I spent the night beating him off me. Saturday we went ice skating with my kids and he had a BLAST. He wanted to know if I'd put in an application for him to sub there because he thought they were awesome. Isn't that cute? Then we went out Saturday night. Oh my good lord, when Jason walked into the room with that fat bitch I my heart stopped. I made a quick exit and all of Jason's friends came out there asking me to come back in and just be civil. So I swallowed my pride and did the right thing. Even spoke to him at the end of the evening, just cause I wanted to see him squirm. And squirm he did, piece of shit. After he left the party got started when "Hebert" came in. Damn that cajun. If he wasn't just the most charming thing, I don't know what was. We got tired of Triggers and headed to "
The PONDEROSA". Of course I had to take a detour and go pick up John Long first. When we got there who did we see? No other than the number one stalker himself Mr. Tom Bright. I almost died. Then I ran into every other skank I knew in high school and never wanted to see again. After we closed them down we sent "Hebert" for food and met at my house for a night cap. Then my evening went terribly awry. "Hebert" accidentally let my dogs out at 4AM. They were immediatly GONE. They never get out so of course they were taking advantage of the situation and my worn out ass was NOT going to chase them. They came home of course and spent sunday 'sleeping it off' as did I after 3 hours of sleep. I'm still recovering. But I suppose no worse for the wear right?
p.s. Did I mention that I did a little dancin with ol JL? and did I mention he was ALL about the 'chainsaw' for those of you in tha know?;)
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:18 PM
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Saturday, December 11, 2004
Wow...
I thought I was ready to move on, but it turns out I'm not. Not that I'm missing him terribly or anything. I just know what I don't want now and I know that I don't want another man to touch me again for a long time. I still feel extremely violated. It just feels wrong to be kissed by anyone else. I don't know how long this will last, but until I get over it I'll be the queen of "WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:10 AM
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Thursday, December 09, 2004
It all began with a little apple...
Well actually, a big apple. The biggest apple I've personally ever seen. cliche...perhaps. But, one of the sweetest things I've ever gotten. I walked into my class room and there it was on my desk. It was from Krystal who was moving the next day. When I asked who it was from she gave me a shy smile and wave. I didn't know what to say really. Truly, what does one say when receiving a piece of fruit? I smiled and commented on the tremendous size of the apple and then it hit me. I...as a teacher...had just recieved my first apple. I suppose you could equivocate it to getting your first good tip as a waitress. Nonetheless, no matter how small the gesture, it was greatly appreciated. It made me think about the opportunity that lay before me and how I have been taking it for granted.
I love my kids, don't get me wrong. I'm unbelievably protective even when I want to pinch their little heads off. I don't think I realized it until just recently though. Over thanksgiving I was bored out of my mind and by the time Monday rolled around I couldn't wait to get to school and see how my kiddos were doing. I was even excited about 7th period. It came upon me gradually. The small things like giving me one of thier track pictures, leaving me notes on my desk when I'm not there, coming to see me between every class. I don't know about you, but I never did that with any of my teachers. They talk to me about so much. I hear so many sad heartbreaking things that I can't comment on. The only thing I can do is sit and listen. Then I realized that's not true. I influence these kids on a daily basis just by standing in front of them and being myself. I'm not perfect in any way, but hopefully they'll see that there is hope and they can change their life.
So today I'm proud. Proud to say that I, Lacy Cooper, am an Educator. Not only an educator, but a role model, an ear to listen, an encourager, and more often than not a parent. 
♥Oh, so vintage... 4:53 PM
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I hate when I spend all day inspired by something and by the time I get a second to write it down my mind is absolutely blank. I will say that I've had a wonderful day (until I got home).
♥Oh, so vintage... 10:03 PM
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Josh...
I really don't know what to say about that boy. I really don't think there are words to explain him or his craziness. All I can say is it's on. We talked about more in 1 hour last night than Jason and I talked about in 8 months.
♥Oh, so vintage... 8:00 PM
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Sunday, December 05, 2004
I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours. ~Clementine
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:44 AM
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Saturday, December 04, 2004
Every once in a great while...
I forget how much fun I'm capable of having. I've been strolling down memory lane lately. Maybe I'm nostaligic because a year ago I graudated from college and life as I know it changed forever. Nontheless, I've been looking at pics, talking to old friends, thinking about all the fun I used to have. What happened to me? I know I can still have a good time, just ask Sara and Jess ;) I just wish I knew what the heck would get me in the mood to get out there and have a good time again. I know what would, a boy. A nice boy that didn't want to break my heart and just wanted to have fun. Alas, there is NO such thing. I'm fun Damnit! Why the hell am I stuck at home on a saturday night? why am I so satisfied spending the evenings sitting around a fire with Jess waiting for her kids to go to sleep so we can have a beer. Not that it's a bad thing, but when did I all the sudden turn so 'domestic'. I went through a pretty wild stage, what happened to that girl that was in the last stages of mastering the 'use em and lose em' philosophy? Why did she let herself fall in love with a deadbeat asshole? Is it because that's all that's out there, or is it like the deadbeat asshole himself said, I only go for losers?
♥Oh, so vintage... 5:59 PM
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Thursday, December 02, 2004
think you are a beautiful, spriritual and intelligent young woman. You may be going through a difficult time right now (or you may not),but God is right beside you. He will not leave you or forsake you, butcomfort and heal you. Put your trust in Him and keep strong! You are achild of God, Lacylou, and you will be taken care of.I found a couple of verses in Psalms that you might like. Psalms isalways very comforting to me."I will be glad and rejoice in your love O Lord, for you saw myaffliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me overto the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place." --Psalm 31:7-8"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He aloneis my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." --Psalm 62:5-6
♥Oh, so vintage... 8:54 PM
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