Wednesday, February 26, 2003
And they say ignorance is bliss...
AHH, but in this day of searching for the
TRUTH I have been amused beyond compare!!!
Who's the Ugliest
Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White and Quasimoto were talking over a picnic lunch.
Hercules said, "You know everyone says I'm the strongest mortal on earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot."
Snow White said, "you're right! Everyone says I'm the fairest, but how can I be sure?"
Quasimoto agrees. "Yeah, and I'm supposed to be the ugliest!"
Suddenly Snow White has an idea. "You know, guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth."
Hercules said, "Great. Let's meet tomorrow and tell our tales."
The next day they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules said, "I talked to God, and He said I'm the strongest."
Snow White said, "As did I, and I'm the truly the fairest."
Quasimoto had his head bowed, as he shamefully asked, "Who is Janet Reno?"
and I think that F.E.T.E is going to HAVE to be my sign off from now on because that is TOTALLY my attitude about it!
This is pretty great too...
Got Your Checkbooks Ready?
My Blogfather, John Cole, has sniffed out a Washington Compost article claiming that the President wants to spend up to $95 billion dollars on getting Saddam's ass up and dangling from a lamp post.
Drudge did the math on this and came up with the result that this would amount to just about $320 for every Citizen.
John's reply was:
Who do I write the check to and where do I send it?
And I (call it some sort of weird, twisted, Oedipal thing if you like) would like to up the ante a little bit:
Dear Mr. President:
If you'll not only go in and turn Saddam and his henchmen and family into compost RIGHT NOW, but also tell the UN, the Fermans and the Grench to go piss up a rope, take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, kiss your proud American ass and don't EVER bother to come crying to us for help EVER again, I'll round it up to a nice, even $1,000.
How 'bout it, Mr. President?
Just let me know who to make it out to and it'll be in the mail sooner than you can say "waffle".
(Oh, and in case Colon gets all fidgety about it, I've got two words for you, Mr. President: "Duct Tape")
BUT...as everyone knows, the best part of a post is the comments
In the true spirit of capitalism, here's what I think the pentagon should do: Sponsorship of armaments. Wouldn't you just love to have your name written on a nice daisy cutter or a JDAM that takes out Saddam and some terrorist scum?
Count me in! $1000 is nice, but I'd pay more if I had too.
And we already HAVE duct tape... dozens of rolls of it. I'll send the Prez a roll. It seems it was only idiotarians that needed to rush the hardware stores for the stuff.
Who in their right mind didn't already have DUCT TAPE?
I'd like to have my name tattooed on Sheryl Crow's ass and have HER dropped in my name. I'd pay a lot for that.
I LOVE THIS SHIT!!!!
For the LOVE OF GOD, go check this out...
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
♥Oh, so vintage... 11:43 PM
