Oh, so vintage?

Sunday, August 31, 2003

"It's one thing to miss someone who's gone, but it's completely different to miss someone who is still around ... but what if you miss someone who wasn't really there to begin with?"

♥Oh, so vintage... 7:28 PM

♥Oh, so vintage... 6:13 PM

Saturday, August 30, 2003

Which brings me to another point...
I've been in contact with a rather large amount of people from my past lately. I am astounded at the fact that after I talk to each one I walk away knowing everything they've been doing in the last 5 years ranging from work to how many times a day they blow their nose. However, I can almost promise that none of them know much of anything about me. None of them even know I'll be graduating this semester, or what my major is. Of course I'm not one to volunteer info about myself to someone. I'm more of a question asker than answerer if ya know what I mean. I think that's because that's how I got by in high school. I always knew the dirt on everyone else, but no one ever knew anything about me. I think I liked it that way too.

♥Oh, so vintage... 7:20 PM

Life on a Chain
A long time ago a former friend of mine told me after a long conversation that he "lived his life on a chain." At the time I wasn't familiar with the song by Pete Yorn, but I quickly familiarized myself. I think I was more confused after I read the words and heard the song than I was before. But then, after a long battle with myself it suddenly made perfect sense to me. When you're locked in an inner conflict you always come out a winner, but then again another part of you always comes out a loser. It dawned on me that I too lived life on a chain, just maybe not the same way as others. Isolated, yet always surrounded. Waiting on that one big thing. You don't know what it is, but you're whole life seems to build towards it. Constantly looking for the sunshine in your front lines, not even knowing that the whole time it was most likely right there. I couldn't wait to forget you, and I never had time to regret you. Sometimes it's hard to explain what a song means to you even when you know it with ever fiber of your being. But that's the beauty of it, you don't have to explain it to anyone else or justify your emotions. They're all yours and no one else's.

♥Oh, so vintage... 6:47 PM

Friday, August 29, 2003

Blog

He can’t escape my Wrath…

The boy formerly known as CBJ that is. I walk into physical yesterday and of the four people in that class he just so happens to be one of us. HeHeHe… “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is the quote I do believe. So for the next 30 class days I’ll be sitting next to Josh, the boy with hair longer than mine, the boy sings Llano Estacado everyday, the boy who ‘doesn’t like tea,’ the boy who looks at my breasts more often than my eyes, the boy who conveniently forgot to mention his ‘friend’ Candice was actually his girlfriend, the same boy I out-fished much to his annoyance, the boy I beat at Poker also much to his annoyance, the one and only Cowboy Jesus (if you saw him, you’d understand). It’ll make for an interesting semester to say the least. Not only does Dr. Cooper already have it out for him from day one…he is well aware of the many, many rumors (I make this bold to stress the fact that they were rumors and just that) that floated around the oh so small Lamar Geology Department last Semester about our ‘inappropriate’ behavior on our Paleo Field trip to Oklahoma. Between Me, Lorrie, Alex, and Dr. Cooper…this boy doesn’t have a prayer. His one and only redeeming quality is that he’s a Republican. Of course, he’s one of those stupid ones who give us smart ones a bad name, so maybe his only redeeming quality is that he loves Townes Van Zandt. Oh well, life’s all about compromise. We’ll just see how long it takes until we are at each other’s throats. He hates independent women, especially intelligent ones. It’s time to lay the smack down, to payback the debt, to give him a taste of his own medicine. Because God forbid I do the mature thing and just let it roll off my back, that wouldn’t be any fun at all now would it? Hehehe

Stay tuned for further updates of ‘Player gets Played’ ;)

♥Oh, so vintage... 5:20 PM

There's something kinda cute about sending an apartment full of boys cookies made from scratch.

♥Oh, so vintage... 4:02 PM

Absolute Horror...
Hillary 04?
Is the only way to describe this. When I read it I got the SAME feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had when I was on my knees in my SFA dorm room staring at the TV watching the Twin Towers fall in absolute disbelief. There is very little difference between Terrorism and Socialism in my book. I don't relish the idea that this bitch Hillary Clinton would ever in any way have any sort of say so over anything that even remotely affects my life. I beg all republicans, all remotely conservative people to be in the voting booths in DROVES this election to prevent this atrocity from occuring.
Bad politicians are elected by good people who don't vote

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:46 AM

Thursday, August 28, 2003

The Minority Report
My friend Courtney has this amazing gift I have to share with everyone. She has the ability to attract any male minority within a 50 mile radius with her raw 'sexuality.' She'd mentioned this to me before, but I never had the privlege of witnessing it till this past Tuesday. We decided to have kolaches for breakfast so we stopped at the donut shop. I ordered my Kolache for $.87 and Court ordered hers. When the guy gave it to her I noticed he had gotten a glazed donut and added to the package. I asked Court "how much did you pay for that?" She replied with the same $.87 I did. I said, "so you got that donut free." Slightly blushing she smiles and says yes. Free Donuts??? where's the love? This was not the first time I'd been dissed and dismissed by one of Court's men. We'd gone to get a hotdog at the Smithsonian when the guy taking my ordered apparently decided he had something else to do and rudely took care of other things while I was waiting to order. When he finally waited on me, it sure wasn't with a smile. So I walk off and the next thing I know, Court has this very red smile on her face as she walks towards me laughing. Apparently this one decided she was such a 'pretty girl' she needed extra napkins and that he'd date her... hehehe.

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:20 PM

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

I LOVE THIS!!! thanks George!

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:36 AM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

"I miss you already but don't turn around
It's funny how you know when it just won't work
And how letting go can echo the sweetest sound"

I sometimes have the most amazing intuition, so good in fact that it downright hate it at times. Court seems to think I'll be ok, but I can't be as sure as she is about it. I probably shouldn't even be writing this.

♥Oh, so vintage... 5:39 PM

Special Topics to come...

The Minority Report
Old Guys at the Beach
1600 miles in two days aka "THE DIRTY SOUTH TOUR"
The reawakening of my inner african american soul

Stay Tuned for some 'dirty south representation'

♥Oh, so vintage... 5:23 PM

Friday, August 22, 2003

Last word till Sunday...
See you guys in the south on the 'Sunday Side of a Road Trip Weekend'
Texas...We're coming home baby!!!

"Hell Bent 100% Texan Till I die"

♥Oh, so vintage... 7:56 PM

Sorry folks, it's a song lyric kinda day...
Earlier in the summer I made a post about how a song can define your summer. Usually for me it ends up being a rap song of some sort, such as Aww Naww~Nappy Roots. This summer I've been in a country sorta mood since the only decent station in H-town have been ripped from their place on the dial. At the time of that post I thought my defining song of summer 2003 was going to be Almost Home...turns out it ended up being My Front Porch Looking In (aka the sippy cup song). Jessica and I decided that if Lonestar can make a hit out of a song about sippy cups then we are destined to be famous one day with our Tex-Appeal ;) Of course a few more hits of the summer I'll remember are Brokenheartsville, What was I thinkin, and 99.9% sure 'I've never been here before'.

The only ground I ever owned was sticking to my shoes
Now I look at my front porch and this panoramic view
I can sit and watch the fields fill up
With rays of glowing sun
Or watch the moon lay on the fences
Like that's where it was hung
My blessings are in front of me
It's not about the land
I'll never beat the view
From my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
And the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in, yeah

I've traveled here and everywhere
Following my job
I've seen the paintings from the air
Brushed by the hand of God
The mountains and the canyons reach from sea to shining sea
But I can't wait to get back home
To the one he made for me
It's anywhere I'll ever go and everywhere I've been
Nothing takes my breath away
Like my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
Yeah the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in

I see what beautiful is about
When I'm looking in
Not when I'm looking out

There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
Yeah the view I love the most

♥Oh, so vintage... 6:22 PM

We're all looking for redemption just afraid to say the name...

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:22 PM

MAD ASS PROPS TO VH1 country!!!!!
Nothing like a little back to back PG to get you up and going for the day!

In the shadow of Wave on Wave, I forgot just how incredible this song is...
3 DAYS

Wake up, what you been dreaming about
I ain't got a lot to say, but I could talk to you for hours
The way you talk, the way you breathe
The way that you spirit moves into me
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
I got three days to wash the road out of my soul
I got three days to love you out of control
And I wish I had a lifetime to hold onto you this way
Love can do some healing, in just three daysYeah, and hold me and help me understand
Why on earth I have to be such a stupid man
To live the way I do, dream the dreams I dream
So far away from you, yeah
Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me
Three days and nights to put some life back in this man
I aint holding nothing back
You got all I am
Hearts and souls and dreams in the palm of your hand

p.s. Put me on a cool river
take my worries from me
fly me high on a big blue sky
where there's no one here but me

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:08 PM

You keep telling yourself to push it to the back
You just wanna bail first because it's the easy way out
It's totally fine, you just don't wanna deal
Yeah so maybe you're tired, is that any excuse?
You've always wanted to look the other way
You just never did.
You always faced it head on
No matter how bad you wanted to run
Maybe he didn't call
Maybe she's being a bitch
Maybe you messed up
Maybe the day was just all wrong
Whatever the excuse
It's insignificant
Tomorrow's another day
No one said it would be easy
No one made any promises

In the words of my man Bruce
Cowboy tha F*ck up

It's amazing what a goodnight's sleep and food can do for a person's outlook

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:07 PM

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Him: hey sexy
Her: hey to you too
Him: what are you doing saturday

Way to make a girls day. It's been awhile since someone's called me that.

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:20 PM

Props to the Coolness otherwise known as Courtney's Mom...
She bakes these killer kickass homeade apple pies
She pops popcorn for us to take to the baseball game
She leaves beer in the fridge for me, not just any beer...Czech premium lager Budweiser Budvar
She named her cat Lacy J, which is who I'm named after ;)

♥Oh, so vintage... 8:38 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Just when you think politics are in a lull, and that nothing really interesting is in the news...The proverbial shit hits the fan and there is drama everywhere. You've the idiot Texas Democrats, The psychos running for governor in Cali, people trying to impeach Bush for "Ordering and directing "first strike" war of aggression against Afghanistan causing thousands of deaths," The UN blaming the US for the UN bombing in Iraq, arguing about the inadequacy of our presence in Iraq. It's outrageous.

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:31 PM

Things that make me smile...
Little kids dancing because they don't care what it looks like
Seeing Texas license plates in Maryland
Terrorist hunting licenses
Touching a rock that was only a few billion years in the making
Shopping at Ikea
Reading headlines about 'Jen and Ben' they are the lamest couple ever
Eating Court's Mom's homeade apple pie with ice cream
That 'good' burn you get after running for the first time in 2 years
Taking 'the scenic route'
The Baltimore Orioles
The sound of my Mom's voice when I'm a few thousand miles from home
Court wearing her Bleu Edmonson band T-shirt @ an Orioles game (dirty south representin')
Paying the same price for your big fattie coke as you did for your game ticket
Sleeping till 11:30am which translates to 12:30am here
The smell of laundry detergent
Uptown Girls
Life

♥Oh, so vintage... 12:34 AM

Monday, August 18, 2003

Fgh79: you cant handle hanging with me
Fgh79: im coolio
LRC91080: ha, YEAH right, quit talking smack or i'll lock you up in the closet and force you to watch the spanish channel all night long
Fgh79: oh god
Fgh79: please no
Fgh79: anything but that
Fgh79: oh lord

Who says I don't know how to talk to men? ;)

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:24 PM

Oh my goodness my feet hurt. However, I saw some awesome stuff today. We spent the day in DC checking out all the Smithsonian had to offer. The Hope Diamond wasn't quite as impressive as I thought it would be, but it was still cool to see. The sculpture garden at the Hishhorn Museum was really neat too. We decided it would be cooler if we were the curators though. Modern art needs a new spin on it. The modern art museum was damn cool. I now know why the Blue Dog is blue, because the sky is too. We saw the Star Spangled Banner that inspired our national anthem. And of course the always interesting replica of Julia Child's kitchen. Then of course Harry Winston's The Splendor of Diamonds exhibit was money (my god did I just use that word?). So tomorrow its back to DC to check out the main attractions, you know, stuff like the nations capital, lincoln memorial, white house, that sort of thing.

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:43 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2003

"It's funny but, you will find those people that make you feel like conquering the world to offer to them as a gift."

I think this by far is one of the most wonderful things I've ever read. I read it this morning and have had a whole day of walking around in a sea of humanity all alone to reflect on it. Although I had a somewhat in depth conversation about it this morning, being the reflecting sort, I haven't left it at just that. I think it would be fantastic to find someone in this world that would have that kind of affect on me. Maybe he's been found and I just don't know it yet...time will tell. Maybe he's the peace of mind that comes from a goodnight kiss. The one that knows all my secrets and accepts me anyway. He could be the one that sticks around long enough to call my bluff. He knows I'm fragile and should be handled with care, but he also knows that when the occasion calls for it I can take care of myself. He's the one that can face God with all of his faults and know that salvation awaits. His compassion and selflessness give him his strength. All he holds dear in this life can't be bought and sold only won or lost by his actions. Like I said, maybe he's been found and I just don't know him yet. He could be the reason I now know that I don't like molasses cookies ;). Whoever he is, wherever he is, whatever he's doing, I hope he sleeps sweetly and has the faith to believe in me.

p.s. "I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here"~JM

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:40 PM

Saturday, August 16, 2003

My flights went well yesterday. Baltimore is great. New York was FAN'FREAKIN'TASTIC! I had so much fun today I can barely remember everything I saw. I took 5 rolls of film up and still have some in each camera. The B+Ws are going to be outstanding. Ground Zero was unreal. You just don't get it till you see it, and then you still really don't get it. I've walked a million miles and have the blisters to prove it. I think there is a Starbucks on every corner in this city. We had the total cliche 'New York' experience today...Court says..."So what's your initial impression?" I go "well it's not as busy or as loud as I thought it'd be." Less than 10 minutes later we while walking past Central Park Two construction workers working with the jackhammer whistle at us as Taxis are honking in the background. I told Court..."Yeah actually that's more along the lines of what I thought it should be like."
Tomorrow I get to sleep late!!! Then spend the afternoon at Arundel Mills while Court puts in her last hours at work before we return to take Texas by Storm.
p.s. Stay tuned, I've got fabulous prives in store...

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:41 PM

Friday, August 15, 2003

Today's the day. I've been up since 6:30 and things are running beautifully, better than expected actually. Hopefully New York will have power restored before I get there, and I'll leave Erika far behind. So, on that note and in with the inspiration from Court I leave you with the most awesome prayer I've ever found.

A translation of "Our Father" directly from the Aramaic into English (rather than from Aramaic into Greek into Latin into English.)

O cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration!
Soften the ground of our being and carve out a space within us where your Presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that we may be empowered to bear the fruit of your mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with our desire.
Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share what each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us, as we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.
For you are the fruitful vision, the birth-power and the fulfillment, as all is gathered and made whole once again.

Amen

♥Oh, so vintage... 8:32 AM

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Well apparently Jared was right...
New York just isn't ready for us yet...
New York Blackouts

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:38 PM

Well Court...
We've been friends for almost two years now... from those quiet shy girls that nobody knew at the end of the hallway to 'the ballsy' twins, as Mamma T has dubbed us. Nothing escapes us , nothing discourages us, and nothing has come between us, not even nameless, faceless, assholes on the internet named 'stan', nor a psychotic bitch Mother of mutual friend. From The Ladies Man to Zoolander and all those movies in between, From Pat Green to John Mayer and those Indie artists in between, from throwdowns at Sundance to throwdowns at the Rodeo, it's all been good. Whether we're sipping Asti on the deck at the lake, or typing feverishly to each other on instant messenger while sitting in adjacent rooms we're always having a great time. I know for a fact we've made our mark on this world, even if the Texas Highway Department Roadsign Division is the only one who realizes it. Dramatic...we may be, Confident...we are, Beautiful...no doubt, Witty...we rival the best, Determined...as ever, Hopelessly Romantic...it's possible, True to our beliefs...to a fault, Friends...forever. So as we are about to embark on a journey, no doubt to be one for the history books, it is good to remember the roots of our friendship and the triumphs of our past encounters. So in less than 24 hours we'll be united again, Secret Agents L-dawg and C-Funk for Operation Hell or High Water.

jplmyers: I'm skurd Lacy
jplmyers: i don't know if the Metro area can handle y'all

♥Oh, so vintage... 4:00 PM

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

"Perhaps he exists both in your dreams and in your reality. Would that be so bad?"

Is it possible to exist in two places at once? I suppose it is because not only do you exist in your reality you also exist in the hearts of those you touch. So if you've touched my heart then you're no longer in my dreams but very much a part of my reality. Although it's just as sweet to have you touch me in reality as it is to have you touch me in my dreams. Maybe I dreamed you into existence. Perhaps you really were a figment of my imagination that slipped into this dimension, maybe that's the 'glitch.' The cloudiness of where you slipped into my world and into reality.

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:20 PM

Girl: so today you're a 'glitch' huh?
Boy: yes
Girl: well how exactly are you a glitch?
Boy: a glitch in your reality, because I apparently seem to be a cloudy spot...

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:06 PM

Oh My God, I think I'm going to hyperventilate. I serioulsy HATE school. Why in the hell is everything ten times as hard as it ever should be??? I didn't spend Half of my high school career Acing Advanced Placement tests so that Pissy little Lamar University could tell me that I still have to take Freaking English Literature because they require the course be taken and their institution! AGH!!!!!!!!! Not to mention that fact that I have to take and Advanced Physical Geology class in addition to teaching a Physical Geology Lab!!!
Must...Breathe...

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:45 AM

WHAT THE F*CK IS THE DEAL PEOPLE!?
Republicans Fine Democrats
I'm just about sick of this SH*T. Are the Democrats just going to start pissing and moaning and throwing childish little fits from now on everytime they don't get their way? Oh wait, what am I saying? THEY ALWAYS HAVE! This is disgusting.

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:59 AM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Boy: basically
Boy: I figure I'll wait to buy a house when you are here
Boy: and you can help me look
Girl: oh, well that's sweet of you
Boy: so we can get married and have it to go home to
Boy: sound good?

Nothing like being prepared huh?

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:39 PM

The battle lines have been cleary drawn.

au renarde

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:07 PM

Ok Houston People...
Get you're Butts to the Firehouse this Saturday night and support Mark Sanders!!!
Although I'll be in Baltimore livin large with my dawgs ;)

♥Oh, so vintage... 7:38 PM

Monday, August 11, 2003

Sometimes I think Reality plays jokes on me. All these things he says...are they real? Or am I simply having an imaginary conversation with myself? An imaginary conversation with a figment of my imagination that says things I never knew I wanted to hear. I'm scared I'm going to wake up to find out it was just a dream and that the truth is he never really existed. I know he exists though, but why is he saying these things to me? No one ever says such sweet things to me. What if he wakes up and realizes what he thought was me was only a figment of his imagination and that all he's left with is the real me...Reality. Maybe I'll get lucky though and he won't wake up and realize I'm just ordinary. Maybe he'll keep on saying these sweet things to me. Maybe he'll continue to make me feel special. Maybe he actually does see me, and he really thinks all these things he's saying...
Maybe.

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:14 PM

Why is it that my two favorite people to talk to both have away messages up and they are both running? Maybe it's a hint that I should be doing the same...

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:28 PM

Man I didn't post all weekend. Oh well, 'Inspirato can't be rushed'. But I had a great weekend. Although, I was amazingly tired and boring which caused me to be a rather poor host for my guests. Even though it was their fault I was tired in the first place ;) For some reason 1 1/2 hours of sleep in 48 hours just didn't get me through. But, on the bright side, the birthday planning has begun. There will be beer, there will be music, there will be a hot tub, there will be a grill, and there will be awesome friends there to help me celebrate. In the meantime however, I am about 3 days away from one of the biggest adventures of my life. I've got tons to do, I don't know where to start. Actually I've already started. I bought 8 rolls of film today at Sam's for $15 which I didn't think was half bad. It's going to be off the freakin hook! Have I mentioned that already?

♥Oh, so vintage... 8:00 PM

Friday, August 08, 2003

Love advice from Dad...
"Honey, a good dependable, trustworthy, hardworking man only comes around once every ten years."
My response...
"Well if that's the case, I'm due two good ones any day now"

"Never test my patience...
Sweetie I'm high maintenance."

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:43 PM

An acquaintance of mine made a remark last weekend that I've lived my whole life by...
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
How true it is.

♥Oh, so vintage... 4:45 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Take this Democrats...

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:23 AM

I just really, truly, do not know the answers.

♥Oh, so vintage... 1:08 AM

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

Interesting tidbit from a friend...
Sex Manual
p.s. Gage, maybe you should check this one out ;)

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:46 PM

It occured to me today...
That I must be an incredibly important person. While having a conversation with an old friend it suddenly hit me that She was talking to him just to get his attention away from me to prove she could take him and He was talking to her just to piss me off. Childish games we play.

♥Oh, so vintage... 11:22 PM

Barricades

Close my eyes and ask a question
Why is it I do what I do
Am I looking for some happy definition
Of life and love in the corners of truth
Or am I just some curious bystander
Looking at the world through a child’s eyes
Sunlight always shining on my shoulders
While the storm rages on deep inside, deep inside

Chorus
And it seems so hard to keep it all together
When the walls are falling down on every side
Yeah, but I’ll be damned if I give up on it easy
I’ve worked too hard to get the barricades this high

Now this world’s a stage we’re meant to play on
Direction from inside on what to do
I know I should have all of the answers
Deep inside I haven’t got a clue, not a clue

Chorus

Told myself that I would be okay
Told myself I’d be all right no doubt
Somewhere low I know that I’ve been lying
Can’t believe it took me thirty years
To figure that shit out

By number one man Pat Green. I love that Pat has been such an influential force in my life the past few years. I always find truth in his music. He's busy writing the soundtrack to my life.

I don't know what I was after
Just know I was going down

♥Oh, so vintage... 10:16 PM

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Exercises in lack of self control~Reasoning to give in~Finding truth in lies~Looking on the bright side of the sun~Tangled in the darkness~Spontaneous redemption~Remedial radio edits~Resistable tease~Bright shelters~Useless warnings~Uncontrollable reactions
just a curbside profit with my hand in my pocket

♥Oh, so vintage... 4:01 PM

***Note to self...
If I ever start a band, I'm going to name it
Failed Attempts at Greatness

♥Oh, so vintage... 3:18 PM

Monday, August 04, 2003

Failproof plan...
when in doubt it's nothing that a little PG on the radio, a little Zeigenbock, and a little Guitar won't fix.

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:30 PM

Best away message of the day...
"shit's goin down. i'll be back like jennifer lopez"
Best profile of the day...
"LRC91080 , live a little. Call me.
443-254-3225"
Props Jared

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:22 PM

What a weird day...
I don't know what the deal is, the only way I can describe my mood today is Indifferent. I was so tired last night that I crashed at 9:30. I woke up at 8 and I haven't felt well at all today. I came home and took a nap and now I'm just blah. Not really in a bad mood, not really in a good mood. I've had no reaction to anything that has happened all day long. I think I'm just tired...tired of thinking, tired of moving, tired of working, tired of eating, tired of talking, tired of listening, tired of everything. I don't even care that I'm tired of everything. Oh well, I'm going back to bed.

♥Oh, so vintage... 5:58 PM

Sunday, August 03, 2003

Used heart for sale
I had a fantastic weekend. Caught up with the newlyweds, acquired some furniture, hit up the CS bead store, welcomed a new life into the world, drove about 550 miles, met some great new people, and spent some quality time with a good friend. But, that good friend said something to me that has really been weighing on my mind. In the midst of casual conversation he just up and states..."You're not over him yet." Now this weekend the two of us were spending some time getting to know each other. I was getting pretty comfortable with him and this statement totally caught me off guard. It's like one minute you're eating milk and cookies and in the very next breath someone punches you in the stomach. I couldn't even speak. Even if I'd had the words they wouldn't have come out. Sometimes it's not a matter of being 'over' the person, but not being 'over' the fact that someone, whoever they were, could do that to you. I ask you...do you ever get over someone? No, and you of all people should know that. Yes, you move on, you live and learn, you grow in beautiful ways from traumatic events. However, that person will always have a piece of you that can never be given back, just as you will always have a piece of them. So yeah, maybe I'm still a little hurt. You said that you could tell I wasn't over it because I didn't want to talk about it. I'm the kind of person who doesn't really talk about something anymore once I'm over it. Most likely I've already analyzed every aspect of the situation to the point of obsession and come up with either some sort of closure, or the conclusion that no amount of thought and angst will ever make it logical to me. If I'm still talking about it, if I mention it casually every once in a while it's because I'm not over it. It's obviously still on my mind or I wouldn't have mentioned it. Just because I'm hurt doesn't mean I can't move on. The only way to get over something like that is to move on. Sometimes the pain never goes away. To me it was much like a death, just as absolute and finite. One day he was here and one day he was gone. No explanation. No goodbye. No way to rationalize it. You eventually move on. Learn to live with the loss of that person, but they are always a part of you. Am I right?

I haven't been quite the same,
so sure the story of my life would never change
But in a bright-eyed way, she rinsed out the soap in my eyes,
and wrote a song that I'm about to sing

She's a magnetic girl
That I hardly even know
So this is not another love song
Just a list of things that I should know,
and everyone should know
That...

1. You gotta take it kinda slowly
2. You gotta hurry up and make your move
3. You gotta tell her that she's pretty
4. You gotta be the perfect gentelman

When you shake the walls, you gotta make 'em bend
You gotta show her that
She's the balance beam
and I keep falling all around her fairy tale

We took a walk in the rain.
I suggested, she confessed:
"There's a heart nearby to cast the shame."
Stay cool but I'm giddy like a school boy
You gotta handle with care: This is not a toy
Then gradually we touched
And though our clothes were wet, we sat and smiled
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most~Blue October

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:43 PM

This is great....
Stealing a House???

♥Oh, so vintage... 9:49 AM

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