Tuesday, October 14, 2003
I'm losing it over here!
I used to be so damn into this guy it's unreal. Things went awry, I got hurt, end of story...or so I thought. I got over him rather quickly because he was that one that I have to thank for giving me the balls to diss and dismiss them as fast as they come. He was the straw that broke the camel's back. After him, it was so easy to get over guys, not because he was necessarily more hurtful than the rest, he was just the LAST one that was going to do that to me.
Anyway, the point being that, I'm confronted with him once again. Even though I thought I was happily going to try things out with Leslie, I kept finding my mind wandering back to one specific night, all those sweet smiles, and the hundreds of sneaking glances. Even though I thought I had totally written him off and that I was not in any way interested in him as anything other than an association. I've been spending alot more time talking to him. Playful conversations, secret smiles, all those sweet little things that make a crush so perfect right? So now I have remembered that I love his smile, I love his sense of humor, I love to argue with him, I don't even care if he's right and I'm wrong, I love the music he listens to (not that I'd let him know that), I love his style, I LOVE his hair, I love the way he smells (and the way my drivers seat smells since he drove my car today), I love that he hates it when I'm right, I love that he asks me to do little things for him just to see if I'll do them, I love that he makes lists of music I need to listen to and movies I need to watch, I love his perfect cowboy hat, I love the fact that he bottle feeds his baby goats, I love the fact that he's just so much fun to hang out with, but...I absolutely hate the fact that he has a 'girlfriend'. I love all these things about him. I love myself more though and will not allow myself to be irresponsible with my heart. I spent the day with an incredible guy that I could fall head over heals for but it's a hopeless situation. So on that note CBJ, this one goes out to you Sweetheart...
~~Poison Lovers~~
I was almost out of here
Nearly left this time
I saw you in my rearview mirror
And I pulled up on a dime
But nothin' ventured, nothin' lost
You can't say we didn't try
That is unless you weigh the cost
Of every tear we cried
Why do we do this to each other
I guess we were always poison lovers
If you could look me in the eye
And tell me what you see
Maybe you can tell me why
I let you torture me
I know that your lips are soft
And they sing the sweetest songs
But I've been listenin' long enough
My heart has turned to stone
Another time, another place
Another wind to blame
Cover every track and trace
I'll find you just the same
And even if we made our peace
And went our separate ways
You'd go west and I'd go east
And we'd meet here in this place
~~Steve Earle~~
♥Oh, so vintage... 9:25 PM
