Sunday, November 23, 2003
I went to church this morning and this is what spoke to me
2 Corinthians 9:11
You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
And I realized that I was going about this business with Josh all wrong. I pray every night to grow as a Christian, and I pray that The Lord my use me in any way possible to serve him. I of all people know how important the small things are, a touch, a smile, a laugh. I know they can make the difference in someone's day or someone's life. So now that The Lord has granted me this and given me the opportunity to work for him in someone's life, I was selfish and blind. I only wanted what I wanted out of my relationship with Josh. I didn't think about the fact that sometimes we work in people's lives in ways we don't understand and sometimes never even recognize. Take for example a very LONG ongoing debate Josh and I have going over our difference of spiritual opinion. He influenced me to go to church today for the first time in years. Something I would have never entertained had it not been for some things he said. So now God has answered one of my prayers and is opening doors for me to grow in my chrisianity. On the same turn Josh doesn't believe in miracles, he doesn't believe in the healing power of prayer, and he doesn't believe that God intervenes in our lives in any way. He thinks it's up to us and our free will to live right and that we don't live our lives with specific purposes. I, however, believe the total opposite. God is constantly reaffirming the fact that he is with me and guiding me always. Yesterday he said to me that he had decided that maybe his life did have a purpose. That he'd been in too many situations he shouldn't have rightly survived to life his life without a purpose. So when we ask specific things of God we should be prepared to answer his call without letting selfish intentions get in the way. In short I realized today that although things aren't going exactly like I would want them to, maybe there is still a reason we're a part of each other's life. I forgot that our ultimate goal is to love unconditionally and to not be judgemental. I have an abundance of love and wish to share as much of it as I can. Love heals. It's that simple. So I will show patience, and I will be forgiving because what you give you will recieve.
♥Oh, so vintage... 7:23 PM
