Thursday, March 25, 2004
I hurt so bad right now. I could cry but I don't have any tears. I could scream but no one would hear me. If I ran it would eventually catch me. Nothing kills the pain, only numbs it. There's so much I want to say, but what's the point anymore? I need time alone far away from this. I don't want to wake up in the morning and think about it. I want it to go away. I've said it so many times. I just want it to go away. I promised myself so many times. Swore that I'd never let this happen again. I never wanted to fall in love again. I never wanted to feel it again. I wanted to know what it was like to be that girl that no one could have. The emotionally unattainable. In doing so I think I only laid myself out there to be hurt even worse. The more adverse you are to something. The worse it is when it happens to you. So now it's happened to me. I knew it would. The whole time I knew it would. I can't tell you how, I just knew. My heart always knows the truth and that's what scares me the most. Because I know. Even though I know I won't give up, I just keep getting hurt. Keep putting myself out there. But when's it my turn? I give and give and I'm so understanding. I do everything in my power to be enough, yet I'm not. So now what? When's someone going to do the same for me? The worst part about that question is the fact that deep down I know the answer.
"don't ya think that ya need somebody?"
♥Oh, so vintage... 5:56 PM
