Friday, June 25, 2004
We're giving this another try. How convenient since I'm now back in town for good. Part of me is glad, and part of me is still so hurt. I wonder if things will ever be the same? How do you move past something like that? I know that I have to if I plan to make this work, but it's really hard to just forget what he said. Not hard for him of course since he didn't even remember what he said. Bottom line is that I am crazy about him. Now I need to come to terms with all that's happened and see if I can get that trust back. Trust is a hard thing to earn from me, especially if you've ever hurt me in any way. I just throw that guard up and it's terribly hard for me to let it down, even when I want to. I never had my guard up with him because things just flowed so perfectly from day one and now it's just different. Everything seems the same, we cook, watch tv together, talk about our day, but there is something different and I can't put my finger on what it is. I'm not even excited about it either, it's just like another day. I will say one thing though, I feel 100% better. I can eat without wanting to vomit now. I just needed peace of mind. Deep down I think this will work for awhile because part of me just never let go of him, like he was coming back or he hadn't ever left me. Oh well, we'll give it another try and see how things go. Maybe we just need the weekend together at Jocelyn's.
***Holy Sh!T*** this is my horoscope I just read...
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Gaze, don't stare, into the eyes of love. Dare to let the old cliche about love ring true: Let it go, and watch it come back to you, probably on your terms. Work gets tedious -- a sign that you need a treat to look forward to.
♥Oh, so vintage... 5:23 PM
