Life in the Bottoms... I've been terribly amiss for not documenting all of my adventures down here in the little trailer by the pond. Life has been a roller coaster ride since day one, from Bra theft to abandoned wrecked vehicles full of stolen speakers and cold beer. Today's adventure isn't nearly as exciting, but I felt it blogworthy anyway. As you know I have this crazy ass fucking dog named Butterbean. Well Butterbean has not adjusted well to the move and the last 3 times I've brought her down here she's dug out and headed straight back to my parents house. I decided today that since we've finished her small pen I'd give it another try. So I walked to my parents and brought her back down here. Amy and I went to dinner right after I secured her in a pen I was almost certain she couldn't get out of. Well when we got home I got out of the car and I could hear her barking and it sure didn't sound like she was in the pen. I put my boots on to go find here when Amy decided to join me on my 'big adventure in the forest'. So we were all decked out, Amy in her scrubs and moon boots, and I in my yoga pants and fat baby's. Armed with a flashlight and rather large stick we headed towards the forest on a mission. When we reached Butterbean her ass was in the air and I could hear a very pissed off animal growling at her from inside a hollow tree. Amy drove her car over and we used her headlights to investigate further. It turned out to be a vicious opossum. Now opossums aren't so bad when they are on a leash (don't ask how I know) but otherwise I'm not about to mess with them. I called Butterbean off, but that didn't work. Being the 'highly trained' animal that she is, she just wouldn't let go of her target. The headlights scared her a little so she finally started circling the tree and trying to get away from them. I called her twice and the second time I had to tackle her and drag her whole body away from the hissing opossum. That's when it hit me...The SMELL. The distinct smell of a dead, rotting, putrid carcass. One that she had just recently been rolling around in obviously. I managed to get her into my car and I quickly deposited her back at my parents house. I don't think my car will ever be the same. Nor will my yoga pants. I'm going to bathe them in tomato juice. Maybe that will do the trick. Stinky Pete
