I've got dreams...dreams to remember... I just spent about thirty minutes reading through some old emails of mine and Josh's. I don't know how the hell we are still friends. He's an absolute asshole and he better be glad I was such a nice person back then and not as Jaded and smart as I am now. I want to smack the shit out of him just thinking about it. I was so good to him. I want to go back in time and take that little girl who hung on his every word and action and shake her till she gets some sense. What was I thinking??? I suppose it was that "unconditional love" I was so fond of giving too freely of at the time. I'm still relatively guilty of that now but I've gained greater control over it. I think its his turn to wait on me hand and foot and make sure I'm happy all the time. Mr. "it makes me so happy knowing your happy" owes me an apology for the last 3 years of our friendship (and I use that term loosely)! Ugh...maybe he's opened his eyes. I don't buy this I can abuse you but no one else can bullshit. How can he sit there and preach about how much he hated seeing me get hurt when he dealt more shit than any of them? This all leaves me questioning how can I really rely on him? Granted we've grown up in the past 2 years, I still don't know that he's the type of person who can handle me. Because face it, not too many people can. Her face is a map of the world Is a map of the world You can see she's a beautiful girl She's a beautiful girl And everything around her is a silver pool of light The people who surround her feel the benefit of it It makes you calm She holds you captivated in her palm Suddenly I see This is what I wanna be Suddenly I see Why the hell it means so much to me~KT Tunstall
